When fathers are actively involved in their children's schools, the results speak for themselves—fewer discipline problems, stronger academic performance, and a deeper sense of community for students and families alike. Yet in many schools, dad engagement remains an untapped resource, not for lack of interest, but for lack of a clear roadmap.
The Dad Difference offers exactly that. Drawing on research and real-world experience, education leaders Chacko Abraham and Deborah R. Higdon make a compelling case for treating fathers as genuine educational partners. They provide school leaders with the tools to make that happen—from the first phone call to long-term mentorship.
In the excerpt below, Abraham and Higdon share a selection of father engagement strategies, organized around four goals: expanding your school's instructional capacity, fostering lasting school–home connections, building fathers' confidence, and deepening their understanding of your school's mission.
To Expand Capabilities
The following engagement activities provide fathers with opportunities to contribute their skills, knowledge, and wisdom. In doing so, they help to expand your school’s overall instructional capacity.
Message from Dad
This strategy provides fathers with an opportunity to serve as a positive male voice of encouragement, for both their own children and the other students at school. Invite dads to record audio or video messages encouraging the students to do their best. After reviewing each submission, the school can broadcast these messages over the PA system or on school televisions or computer monitors. Throughout the school year, you might solicit more specific kinds of encouragement focused on specific topics (e.g., high-stakes tests, student relationships, school safety procedures) and develop a regular schedule for broadcasting them. You can even invite dads in to deliver their messages in person and videotape them as evidence of their commitment.
Dads Teach Skills
Fathers have all kinds of practical, real-world skills that might interest and empower students. These might be manual craft skills, such as woodworking, plumbing, carpentry, auto mechanics, or household maintenance. Other kinds of expertise they might pass on to students include how to code a website, data analysis, and how to write a technical article.
Fathers can be a great source of artistic enrichment, helping students learn to play a musical instrument, create a video, learn to dance, paint a mural, or tell a story. These activities foster both appreciation for diversity as well as appreciation for craftsmanship.
Invite fathers to a PTA (or PTO) meeting just for them, one focused on communicating specifically to dads about what is going on in the school and how they can help.
To Foster Connection
The following engagement activities are especially effective at fostering a sustained school–home partnership.
Dads as Mentors
Students without any positive male role models in their lives benefit from being assigned a trusted male adult volunteer as a mentor. Schools should always get the consent and advice of the student’s guardian before assigning male volunteers to students in this capacity. We recommend these relationships be set up as one mentor to multiple students rather than one mentor to one student. Each situation will be different and must be handled tactfully and with compassion.
Fathers considered for mentorship should all have demonstrated their dependability by showing up for past events, and they should have proven rapport with students. At your family and dad-focused events, look for the men to whom students tend to gravitate. Once the mentorship is established, mentors can show up at students’ performances or games to cheer them on, assist with classroom projects, and more. With a guardian’s permission, students and mentors can meet regularly to discuss whatever is on the students’ minds.
For elementary school students, we recommend a staff member be present during these meetings.
Dads PTA Meeting
Invite fathers to a PTA (or PTO) meeting just for them, one focused on communicating specifically to dads about what is going on in the school and how they can help. Note that this session is not about “leaving out” mothers or current PTA members; it’s an invitation and an introduction for fathers who are not members of the PTA and may not know how to become involved. In our experience, lots of dads never consider joining this group, believing the PTA is already set up or mostly run by moms—which is often true!
This event, which you might promote as a “A PTA Preview for Dads” or “Dads’ Info Night,” can be created as a relaxed atmosphere where fathers can learn about the PTA, ask their questions, and discover how they can make a significant difference.
To Build Confidence
The following engagement activities are good ways to build fathers’ belief in their respective abilities and assure them that their contributions are making a real difference.
Dad Career Days
Invite fathers for monthly lunches or small-group meetups where they can share how what they learned in school helped them in their careers. Out of consideration for fathers who may be embarrassed by their line of work, you can frame the activity as an invitation to talk about how what they learned in school relates to their specific jobs or how their job incorporates skills that students are building themselves, including critical thinking, problem solving, and collaboration.
If fathers cannot attend the school in person, encourage them to send in a two- to three-minute video of their response. You can also schedule virtual meetings for fathers to discuss their careers, answer any questions, and maybe even show students their work environment.
Dad Clap-Ins and Coffee Chats
Invite as many fathers as you can to come to school early to applaud students and staff as they enter the building and call out words of encouragement (“You got this!” “Have a great semester!” “Thanks for all you do!”). Then invite the men to stay for a “Dads Coffee Chat” with the school administration and teacher leaders. The presence of school staff demonstrates that the school values dad’s input and gives dads a casual way to learn more about the school and how their engagement matters. This extra step transforms a moment of encouragement into a useful connection. Your aim in these chats is to help the fathers understand the school environment better and grasp that their presence and contributions make a difference.
Invite fathers for monthly lunches or small-group meetups where they can share how what they learned in school helped them in their careers.
To Boost Cognition
The following engagement activities invite fathers to build and apply their understanding of the school’s values, goals, and mission in collaboration with school staff.
Dads on District-Level Committees
Invite fathers to join district-level committees where they can work with school leaders to address district issues while also learning more about how the district functions. This strategy promotes respectful interactions between fathers and district leaders. Share contact information with fathers and recommend them for committees as openings become available.
Phone Fathers First
This is a very effective strategy, and too few schools are using it. It couldn’t be simpler: any time you need to call home about an issue, check the student’s contact sheet and call the dad who is listed before you try calling the mom. It’s a great way to build connection with fathers and communicate to them that they are important to their child’s education. It also heads off the many consequences of leaving dads in the dark until a situation has escalated and staff are at their wit’s end.
Phone Fathers First often resolves negative behavior (the most common reason for calling home) early in the school year.